A New Quote For Golf

Mark Twain said of golf that ‘golf was a good walk spoiled.’ Now, up till today, I have tended to agree with this. But when Mark Twain said this of golf the world was a very different place and those playing golf were different too. Golf may well have been a genteel game for the idle rich.

In today’s society golf and membership of a golf club has become an aspiration for some, for others golf is a way to make business contacts or seal deals. For people like me golf and golfers are just annoying. Ok, I’m a birder and maybe i shouldn’t take the moral high ground, but I will.

After witnessing an array of golfing types today, I thought maybe the world needs a new quote to use when dismissing golf as a middle class pastime.

I was running a few ideas through my head and I thought it was worth getting them down and seeing what others felt or if anyone else wanted to comment.

My first thoughts were:

A fucking annoying game played by annoying fuckers.

A cunts game for cunts.

Golf, a game for the rich played by brown-nosing toadying cunts desperate to be middle-class.

Golf – cuntish.

What do you think? Personally I like the latter, it’s snappy and in today’s soundbite society, punchy.

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9 responses to “A New Quote For Golf

  1. Absolutely true-maybe Tiger can go get pissed and smashed again and prang up a $100’000 Humvee because he has had a bad night and an all out argument with his so called girlfriend over a bar of soap and not flushing the toilet-less his kids and marriage break up and get away with it smiling and smirking all over his face again.

    He can-his got the money and the CUNT status that the media holds him too.

    What a Cunt and he stands there like a Cunt as if nothing is any different or anything has happened-the only difference is that his bank balance is’nt quite the same until it rights its self in a Week or 2 once the Dollars start floating in-what a Cunt….

    Yes its a game for all out total and utter CUNTS period and Tiger is one big one I hope he gets hashed with a Trillion Volt Lightning strike the cunt.

  2. I agree that a lot of cunts indulge in golf for the various reasons you’ve noted John…however…i could equally attack many other sports for similar reasons…

    I used to hate cricket [for instance]…boring..cuntish…etc….and then for some reason..[around the Botham era]…i got ‘into it’..and formed an appreciation of the skills involved…

    Most sports have their ‘Tiger Woods’ characters….tooo much money and success leads..often inevitably..towards ‘certain behaviour’…and would any of us be any different given similar circumstances..? I think not….what with women lining up to suck yer cock wherever and whenever you wanted…[hhmmm….be a strong character to resist the ‘dark side’]….suck away i say….!

    But back to golf…i don’t watch much of it these days…but i have enjoyed the levels of skill involved on various occasions. I like the fact that it’s just one bloke keeping his nerve…controlling his mind…the focus and intense concentration involved….all a bit zen like to me.

    I won’t dislike ‘anything’ just because of the twats on the scene…[birding…music]…etc.

    ps….and while i’m woffling on like a cunt…any chance of a bit on your blog for Malcolm McLaren RIP….’madame butterfly’ is still a classic…

    pps….some good stuff on line re McLaren….Lydon interview etc….[PIL now touring the States]…..

    All the best……!

  3. thedrunkbirder

    Cheers Colin and welcome back Beast. Very valid points by both of you but I’m really looking for a catchy punchline that sums up golf…

  4. How about then…

    Golfers……putt all your irons in one fire…then stick ’em directly up your arse…?

    ps…not really a catchy punchline…but i’ll work on it…!

  5. Agree with Beast on all fronts. Ref. Mclaren – that Fans album was excellent.

  6. ..and Colin takes the lead with a total of 6 ‘ C U Next Tuesdays’. Followed closely by John Turettes Hague, with a poor showing of just 3 from the Beast.

  7. I apologize for my poor showing of ‘cunt’ Mark….

    I just cunt bring meself to use the word ‘cunt’ that often as i guess i wasn’t angry enuff..!

    ps..’Counting Cunts’ would be a good name for a band i reckon…

    pps…or a quizshow..’C-untdown’……

    ppps…now CarolV…[the milf who does all the c-unting on c-untdown]…is of course…a _ _ _ _ !!

    Whats the score now..? Under par?… bogey….?

  8. Yeah-I hope those Golfing Tournaments get some freak Electrical storms this summer with lightning strikes hashing away all over the greens.

  9. thedrunkbirder

    But they stop play Colin – where’s the fun in that?

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