Cameron To Crack Down On Social Media After Twitching Mayhem

Following yesterdays release by Turkish Avian Scientist, Taş Bülbülü, of footage of a mass twitch in Hartlepool for a White-throated Robin the Prime Minister is planning a crackdown on twitchers using social networking sites such as Twitter and Facebook to spread news of rare birds. Fearing copy-cat twitches like the horrific scenes in Hartlepool in June where passing van drivers were dragged from their cabs whilst their vans were driven in to walls so that twitchers, with no regards for the welfare of birds, could get a vantage point to look into a Drs garden.

Mass twitches have occurred since near Aberdeen where a rare boring seaduck was spotted amongst a raft of other boring seaduck off the sleepy coastal village of Black Dog.

Other forms of bird information are also threatened with being blocked following the arrival of a rare bird. Recent events in Cornwall and on Blakeney Point where difficult to identify Empidonax Flycatcher from North America landed have caused civil unrest on internet forums with threats of violence ranging from physical assaults to being unfriended on Facebook have occurred. Mr Cameron said he would give the BBA’s new ‘Judge, Jury and Executioner’ Mr CP3O powers to track down these errant twitchers and ‘close down’ the websites at times of peak rarity hunting activity.

David Cameron and new birding Tsar Mr CP3O

‘Twitching is at a crossroads’ said Mr CP3O yesterday. ‘We cannot have a situation whereby strategic sites such as landfills are out of bounds to decent law-abiding bin men.’ It is thought that this relates to a spate of disturbances earlier in the year where 1000s of disgusting larophiles were seen almost daily outside landfill sites in London and Essex looking for a Slaty-backed Gull. Parliament is expected to rush these powers through early next week to help stop the flood of twitchers criticising rarity hunters on Shetland via internet forums this year for having the balls to call a rare bird that then turns out to be common but ‘instructive.’ ‘This kind of behaviour must be stopped’ said Mr CP3O before adding ‘decent rarity hunters will be driven out of birding or stop ringing in news other than within their own grapevines… the consequences of this would cause panic amongst the more manic of twitchers. No one needs that nightmare situation.’


10 responses to “Cameron To Crack Down On Social Media After Twitching Mayhem

  1. You’re a cunt Drunkbirder!

    PS I’m naked!

  2. Surely you mean he’s a cunt?

  3. denzil evans

    there is nothing like this in hungary . andrew kinghorna dn his boys are good too .

  4. Beds Birder

    John. It seems Mr Evans agrees with you on this point although I can’t remember him not going for the White-throated Robin or anything else for that matter. He was probably engaged in marshalling the crowds. Poacher turned gamekeeper eh?
    Anyway Lee posted this on the Beds Yahoo group. Enjoy!

    There have been major problems involving bird news being released on public
    media sites such as twitter and facebook – these services have literally
    millions of members. Birding is not structured for such numbers and some
    twitches are going seriously wrong, with those not seriously interested in the
    subject going along for interest. I don’t think using such mediums for
    releasing bird news is a good idea and I know now that many birdfinders are
    withholding all of their more interesting news and it is being broadcast on
    the original grapevyne system rather than through pagers, internet, etc. The
    White-throated Robin twitch was the first time we saw such media methods
    come to the fore in terms of news dissemination and the results were quite
    simply appalling and has set back news dissemination of rarities 20 years or
    more. In fact, recent twitches have been so bad that vast swathes of
    long-standing participants of the sport have decided to throw in the towel and
    just restrict themselves to either World Birding or local patch watching and
    have lost all interest in chasing other people’s birds….

  5. I’d love to see on BirdForum, next time someone complains that news wasn’t put out quickly enough, the finder repliying ‘I didn’t put the news out because I didn’t think anyone was interested in twitching any more’!

  6. I think all twitchers are cunts

  7. Am I allowed to say that?

  8. By the way, there’s fuck all to see in Shetland

  9. David Gray

    There will be in a month time Rob, stand by your pagers,mobiles, twatters and texts!

  10. David Gray

    By the way Cameroony is a CUNT!!

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