Following yesterdays release by Turkish Avian Scientist, Taş Bülbülü, of footage of a mass twitch in Hartlepool for a White-throated Robin the Prime Minister is planning a crackdown on twitchers using social networking sites such as Twitter and Facebook to spread news of rare birds. Fearing copy-cat twitches like the horrific scenes in Hartlepool in June where passing van drivers were dragged from their cabs whilst their vans were driven in to walls so that twitchers, with no regards for the welfare of birds, could get a vantage point to look into a Drs garden.
Mass twitches have occurred since near Aberdeen where a rare boring seaduck was spotted amongst a raft of other boring seaduck off the sleepy coastal village of Black Dog.
Other forms of bird information are also threatened with being blocked following the arrival of a rare bird. Recent events in Cornwall and on Blakeney Point where difficult to identify Empidonax Flycatcher from North America landed have caused civil unrest on internet forums with threats of violence ranging from physical assaults to being unfriended on Facebook have occurred. Mr Cameron said he would give the BBA’s new ‘Judge, Jury and Executioner’ Mr CP3O powers to track down these errant twitchers and ‘close down’ the websites at times of peak rarity hunting activity.
‘Twitching is at a crossroads’ said Mr CP3O yesterday. ‘We cannot have a situation whereby strategic sites such as landfills are out of bounds to decent law-abiding bin men.’ It is thought that this relates to a spate of disturbances earlier in the year where 1000s of disgusting larophiles were seen almost daily outside landfill sites in London and Essex looking for a Slaty-backed Gull. Parliament is expected to rush these powers through early next week to help stop the flood of twitchers criticising rarity hunters on Shetland via internet forums this year for having the balls to call a rare bird that then turns out to be common but ‘instructive.’ ‘This kind of behaviour must be stopped’ said Mr CP3O before adding ‘decent rarity hunters will be driven out of birding or stop ringing in news other than within their own grapevines… the consequences of this would cause panic amongst the more manic of twitchers. No one needs that nightmare situation.’