Birders Arrested For Larophilia

Police yesterday raided homes in Kent and Leicestershire and arrested two men. The men have been taken to local police stations for questioning and their computers have been removed by detectives for detailed forensic investigation.

Two of the birders arrested yesterday in Shetland in Oct 2010

The arrests follow a tip-off to Police from another birder who spent time with the two suspects on Shetland this year and heard them discussing the swapping of images of a potential 2W Mew Gull in Leicestershire.

One of the birders, arrested in Kent, was found to have 1000s of images of juvenile and immature Caspian and Yellow-legged Gulls on his computer. These Gulls, once unknown in the UK have flooded in since the EU expansion and it is thought that criminal gangs are tricking vulnerable young gulls with the promise of coming to the UK to feed around lucrative fast-food drive-thru’s where shit-thick Chavs can’t be arsed to walk 5m from their car to a bin and so discard there rubbish straight out of the window yet, when they get here they are forced to live in poverty in huge communal roosts on local reservoirs and scavenge tips for food. These gulls then fall victim to organised gangs of perverted larophiles.

The Kent birder has also been very active on internet chat rooms and on one chat room his first 150 posts were on the Gull ID forum. Kent Police are also looking into reports that he has been beaten up twice, and had his optics smashed, whilst involved in his disgusting activities on the North Kent Marshes. A spokesman for SWALC, the Serious Wildlife And Larophile Crime unit said this unrepentant larophile even works for a local authority and get his kicks from looking at the gulls ‘rusty red retained juvenile tertials.’ ‘These birders are just not interested in easy adult gulls and love the thrill of trying to split a tricky juvenile.’ It is believed the Kent birder has also travelled to Cambodia and Vietnam to pursue his vile obsessions.

The birder arrested in Leicestershire has also been active and only this week was found photographing gulls within Leicester city itself, some of these photos have been posted openly on the internet. The Drunkbirder can also exclusively reveal that both are members of a shady organisation GULLS which stands for Grossly Underage Larid Lovers Society and that members share not only images but locations where underage gulls can be found.

The Drunkbirder, a lover of birds of the family Laniidae, or Shrikes says his home has also been targeted by vigilante groups mistaking him for a sick Larophile!