Manchester United Retain Red Devil To Appease Satan

In a widely anticipated move Manchester United have decided to retain the Red Devil on their club crest after extending their sponsorship deal with the Devil for another two years. Manchester United famously angered their fans when they dropped the title Football Club when the first entered a deal with Old Nick. At the time a spokesman for the club said that Manchester United and Hell were looking for synergy and did not want to alienate those consigned to eternal damnation who had previously not followed the club.

Satan At Yesterday's Press Conference

Satan At Yesterday’s Press Conference

The new deal thought to be worth £3bn involves a tie with all the World’s major banks and was hailed as a strategic alliance between the club and Hades.  A spokesperson for the Manchester United Very Independent Supporters Association (VISA) Lucy Furr said the deal would safeguard the future of the club and would help them once again to battle the white knights of the Christian Cross, thought by many to be a reference to Real Madrid, on equal terms again in the Champions League.

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