Tag Archives: Football

Manchester United Retain Red Devil To Appease Satan

In a widely anticipated move Manchester United have decided to retain the Red Devil on their club crest after extending their sponsorship deal with the Devil for another two years. Manchester United famously angered their fans when they dropped the title Football Club when the first entered a deal with Old Nick. At the time a spokesman for the club said that Manchester United and Hell were looking for synergy and did not want to alienate those consigned to eternal damnation who had previously not followed the club.

Satan At Yesterday's Press Conference

Satan At Yesterday’s Press Conference

The new deal thought to be worth £3bn involves a tie with all the World’s major banks and was hailed as a strategic alliance between the club and Hades.  A spokesperson for the Manchester United Very Independent Supporters Association (VISA) Lucy Furr said the deal would safeguard the future of the club and would help them once again to battle the white knights of the Christian Cross, thought by many to be a reference to Real Madrid, on equal terms again in the Champions League.

Shepshed Dynamo FC 3-1 Quorn AFC

Programme

Programme

Action from Tuesday night’s (wet and much postponed) Charnwood derby game at The Dovecote, Shepshed.

Fußball

Fußball

Corner

Corner

Liam Turner

Liam Turner

Ouch

Ouch

The Dovecote, Shepshed Dynamo

The Dovecote, Shepshed Dynamo

The Dovecote, Shepshed Dynamo

The Dovecote, Shepshed Dynamo

The Dovecote, Shepshed Dynamo

The Dovecote, Shepshed Dynamo

Lino!

Lino!

Should Have Gone To Specsavers

Should Have Gone To Specsavers

Rain

Rain

I’ve Got A Shed As Big As This

While fellow Spartan Dave Gray was watching Brown Shrike and Pechora Pipit on Shetland, I was attending my first football match of the season. A rearranged fixture between Barwell FC and Blyth Spartans. The game had been brought forward from December as both teams had made early exits from the FA Cup.

Kirby Road, Barwell FC

Kirkby Road, Barwell FC

Kirby Road, Barwell FC

Kirkby Road, Barwell FC

Barwell FC have a tidy set-up as part of a bigger sports complex but let’s be honest, despite them holding their own in the Southern Premier League and now the Northern Premier League (why they were transferred over just when Hinckley United joined the Southern Prem. is a mystery), the ground is distinctly Midland Football Alliance… and judging by the fact that they seem to use elbows more efficiently than feet their playing standard was more Sunday league. when Barwell did play football they were actually pretty good and took a deserved 1-0 lead in at half-time.

Spartan Army

Spartan Army

In the second half though Blyth really turned on the style. with Robbie Dale a man transformed from his lacklustre first half performance. Maguire and Buddle netted to give the Spartans a massive away win.

Robbie Dale terrorizes Mark Albrighton

Robbie Dale terrorizes Mark Albrighton

Hell City AFC

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Angry that his beloved football club was to be renamed Hull City Tigers by current owner Assem Allam, billionaire fan Louis Cypher has purchased the club and its soul and plans to retain the famous AFC suffix. ‘I want Hull to be a place to be feared’ said a spokesman for the elusive Cypher, he continued to add that he would be changing the name to Hell City AFC and replacing the famous amber and black colours with red. In a controversial move the spokesman said that red was a lucky colour in Satanic cultures and would bring success, ‘we also plan to register the nickname The Red Devils.’

Details on new owner Louis Cypher are sketchy. It is thought he was brought up on the Bransholme estate and claims to have watched the club since its early days at The Boulevard before the move to The Anlaby Circle. Cypher is once understood to have worked for God in Heaven Inc. saving souls. After a boardroom putsch Cypher was sacked and founded the Hades Corporation. Cypher realised that trading in souls was more profitable than saving them. He has since amassed a multi-billion pound personal fortune and is thought to be living off the Beverley High Road.

A press conference has been called for five to five to unveil future plans including a proposal to rename the KC to Gehenna following a sponsorship deal with a Greek Bank owned by the Hades Corporation.

Panorama II

When I took the dog out today I took the opportunity to have a more considered bash at creating a panorama on the iPhone 4S. The first shot I took using Microsoft’s free Photosynth app.

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The second was taken using the Camera+ camera app, this allows me to fix focus and exposure for a more uniform and balanced photo, and then put together in the excellent AutoStich app.

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The later method is a bit trickier but overall will give the best results. For panoramas on the fly then Photosynth might be more useful… and it’s free!

Classic Old Sports Grounds: No2 Burnden Park, Bolton

Well, it’s over two years since I posted No1 in this series and I thought it was high time I posted another.

Burnden Park

I moved to Bolton in September 1983 to attend BIHE as it was then. I travelled from Elsecar by train with Phil Millward who was going to Preston Poly. As we approached Bolton, I caught my first sight of the lights at Burden Park, home of Bolton Wanderers FC, and what a fine set of floodlights they were. Being a lover of football grounds I was soon off to a game. A night match when the then 3rd Division Wanderers took on the might of Nottingham Forest. My house mate Chris Meads was a Forest fan. Despite being a committed Wednesdayite, I soon settled in to regular trips to Burnden Park to feed my football addiction. I settled for most games on the magnificent Burnden Terrace in the paddock below the stand, always towards the Great Lever End.

Burnden Stand

Even for 3rd Division games the atmosphere was electric. My hero at the time was Gerry McElhinney a real rugged Centre Forward who had also played Gaelic Football for Derry in the 1970s.

BWFC Programme

Such was Bolton’s following at home a lot of teams were intimidated by playing here. By the time I started attending games the vast Railway Terrace was cut in half by the Normid Co-op but could still generate an atmosphere for big games. I remember standing here in 1987 for the JPS Trophy Rugby League final.

Here Bolton Wanderers hold Liverpool 2-2 at home in the FA Cup, they went on to win the replay 0-2 at Anfield.

A classic ground and much missed.

A Song For England

I was thinking the other day we need a new football song for England’s World Cup campaign in South Africa. Normally I feel inclined to join in with the ‘anybody but England’ fans in the country; so we really need a song to unite everyone in GB behind those ‘English Lions!’

What about this?

We’re on the march wi’ Fabio’s army

We’re all taking mephedrone

And we’ll really shake ’em up

When we really fuck it up

Cos, England are the greatest football team

Birds and Football

Like most birders I make lists – even birders who claim not to keep lists really do – even if it’s only a mental list. If we didn’t we would never know when we’d seen a new species. Well one of my lists – albeit one I keep mentally – is a list of birds seen from football grounds. This list includes such goodies as Red Kite over Adams’ Park, Wycombe; Turtle Dove at Boston United’s York Street ground and Dipper on the River Don, alongside my beloved Sheffield Wednesday’s, Hillsborough.

This got me to thinking about the strong links between birds and football clubs. Some are pretty obvious, Sheffield Wednesday as we know are nicknamed the Owls. On the surface that might seem obvious – the club emblem is a stylised owl. What may not be known so well is how they came to be The Owls. The owl doesn’t even appear on the City’s Coat of Arms, so where does the name come from? Much to the chagrin of Sheffield United fans we’ve always been one step ahead of them. Sheffield Wednesday, or The Wednesday as they were known originally, played at Bramhall Lane, and were nicknamed The Blades; the current home and nickname of United. The Owls gained their current nickname following a move to the Owlerton district of Sheffield, the Owl only appearing on the club’s badge in the 1930s.

Other clubs have used the owl on their club badge, Leeds United being one of the more prominent. Leeds have had a few nicknames other than the unofficial ‘dirty’ Leeds tag of the Revie era. In fact Don Revie dropped the owl from the Leeds kit as he apparently believed that birds were unlucky. I suppose the superstitious Revie may have had a point as his Leeds team went on to dominate football in the late 60s and early 70s. In fact Leeds United did have a birding nickname – The Peacocks. They weren’t named for their original, gaudy yellow and blue shirts but from the nearby Old Peacock public house which gave Elland Road its original name – The Old Peacock Ground.

Another club to feature an owl, possibly a Long-eared Owl, on their badge are Oldham Athletic. Nicknamed the Latics the Owl comes from the town’s Coat of Arms where the owl features prominently, four times to be precise. It is thought that the owl is a play on the local pronunciation of the town’s name – Owldham.

A lot of clubs get their nickname from their shirt colours. The oldest football league club in the country Notts County were nicknamed The Magpies after adopting their famous Black and White striped shirts in 1890. Prior to this they played in various combinations of yellow and black or brown and pale blue so who knows what they were called then. Other Magpies are of course Newcastle United. One of the most popular nicknames based on shirt colour is The Robins, shared by the likes of Bristol City and Swindon Town amongst others. Without googling the answer how many more Robins can you name?

Interestingly one club that adopted its club colours from an earlier nickname, if not by many years, was Norwich City. The Canaries nickname actually derived from the popular pastime of breeding cage birds in Norwich and the Canary was one such popular cage bird. Funnily enough Norwich City’s original ground was an old chalk pit called The Nest.

A more prosaic club nickname, The Throstles, came from a move to the Hawthorn Ground by West Bromwich Albion. The club badge to this day shows a Throstle or Thrush in a Hawthorn bush. Throstle does appear linked to another football club, non-league Farsley Celtic play at the delightfully named Throstle’s Nest ground. In a similar vein, other clubs to adopt nicknames due to location are Torquay United, The Gulls; Brighton and Hove Albion, The Seagulls and Scarborough, The Seadogs. All three feature some kind of gull on the badge ranging from a much stylised Gull for Torquay to an easily identifiable Herring Gull on Scarborough’s badge.

Cardiff City are also known as The Bluebirds because of their kit and like the song There’ll Be Bluebirds Over The White Cliffs Of Dover it probably relates to the Swallow rather than any potential nearctic mega-rarity such as Eastern Bluebird. Cardiff City do sensibly have a Swallow on their club crest. Swifts are often mistaken by non-birders as being related to the hirundine family that the Swallow belongs to and indeed Swift has featured in the name of two early Football League clubs, now defunct, that bear no relation to two current League clubs. These being Walsall Swifts, later Walsall Town Swifts following a merger and Burton Swifts. The Swift does still feature on Walsall’s badge but The Brewers of Burton Albion didn’t see fit to keep any historical links. I don’t know of any other senior club, other the Kidderminster Harriers bearing a bird name. There’s no evidence for them being named after any Harrier species.

Swansea City are unsurprisingly nicknamed The Swans and as well as the name contraction their badge has featured a Swan for many years now. Indeed a Swan features prominently in the City’s Coat of Arms. A Swan or to be more accurate a Buckingham Swan is also to be found as the club badge of Wycombe Wanderers. Interestingly Wycombe are nicknamed the Chairboys due to the local furniture industry and to be fair a chair really doesn’t cut it as a clubs emblem, does it?

Most surprisingly given its use throughout history, the Eagle only feature once as the nickname for a Football League club in England. Crystal Palace adopted the name to replace The Glaziers after orders from Malcolm Allison, the manager at the time, in 1973. Outside the league, famous FA Cup giant-killers, Bedford Town are known as the Eagles and now play at The New Eyrie, the old ground – The Eyrie – was lost in 1982. Strangely Bedford have a Bald Eagle on their badge when White-tailed Eagle is probably more likely to have hunted over the area historically.

Apart from straying over Offa’s Dyke twice you’ll notice I’ve stayed with English clubs. When we look north of the border to Scotland only Forfar Athletic have any connection to birding, though it’s likely that their nickname The Loons refers to the local name for lads rather than the Scottish name for the Divers which derives from the Old Norse lōmr which means lame. I’m sure many Forfar fans would feel lame has often been a more accurate description of their team over the years.

The Damned United

Leigh and I spent a very happy hour and a half in the cinema this afternoon. The Damned United is a brilliant, brilliant film. Even if you nothing of football you wouldn’t enjoy it any less.

A great cast, well scripted and some superb acting. Well recommended.

Hucknall Town 1-1 Blyth Spartans: 28 March 2009

A quick trip up to Hucknall with Mark W and his mate Paul.

Main Stand at Hucknall Town FC

Main Stand at Hucknall Town FC

A must win match for Blyth with Hucknall looking doomed to the drop already. In a terrible game Blyth dragged themselves down to Hucknall’s level in a game dominated by the wind. In the first half Blyth just couldn’t capitalise on all their possession following an early McCabe goal. Robbie Dale was well off the pace and soon drifted out of the game. What’s happened to our 30 goal a season striker? My guess is at this level he just doesn’t make the grade.

Watnall Road End

Watnall Road End

Second half Hucknall somehow managed to drag their sorry arses back into the game especially after McCabe went off and scored after a long period of ‘domination.’ Despite being urged on by brilliant away support the Spartans couldn’t raise their game to make their obvious superiority count.

A disappointing draw then that drags Blyth out of the bottom three thanks to Burscough’s defeat. Things reall have to improve and maybe a bit of Blyth (FA Cup) Spirit needs to be found.